Uses a partially liquified Pentium Processor, has the processing power of an Enigma Machine, and has the battery capacity of a desktop. In a laptop. Comparable to Babbage's Analytical Machine, but with half the user friendliness. It has the oddest tech issues. Cables turning into snakes when plugged into the HDMI ports was NOT one of the possible side effects on the instruction manual. AT least, I'm fairly certain of that. But I digress. I'm sure most will be satisfied with this list of probable side effects: Having Bobcats in boxes shipped to your front door, having the urge to steal a Russian Submersible, becoming the President of the United States, millions of gender fluctuations every millisecond, random explosons down the street, feeling of lightness in head, not experiencing gravity, feeling the need to build jetpack using automatic rifles, more explosions, instantly knowing how to speak in hexadecimal, having your house be invaded by 27 diffrent countries at once, declaring war on said countries, blue screen of death. Of course, this goes on for 42 more pages. The fact of the matter is that my so called "Workstation" doesn't function in it's intended manner. Don't get me started on the loading times. Every time I open a CAD file, its like a million voices suddenly cry out in terror, and are suddenly silenced when my graphics drivers stop working. Its enough to give old Obi-Wan a heart attack! Poor Ben...In conclusion, be very, very afraid. The old ones fear this, as the ancient ones once did. This computer sees all, this computer knows all, this computer randomly deletes all from my desktop for no apparent reason.
In all honesty:
Honors and awards:
Aerospace Engineering, Robotics, Geology, Staring forlornly at extraordinarily expensive computers I will never have